The Real Difference Between Boys and Girls

“Tyra Banks 161 pounds and overweight?” This was the question posed on the last cover of People magazine. Former Victoria Secret model Tyra Banks is being harassed by critics for gaining a few pounds over the past couple of years. What’s the big deal about Tyra gaining weight? The fact that she is a female and she is famous.

The difference between boys and girls is not a physical difference, but instead, has more to do with the characteristics and a certain mind set that each gender carries. In my research, this mind set is connected with the physical aspects of males and the physical aspects of females.
To decipher the real difference between boys and girls, I might have to research and observe more than just the students at St. Johns. However, I wanted to get an idea of what goes on in the heads of my peers here at school. Before I started my research, I had the idea that girls care more about things like looks and weight. This is my first research question I want to answer. My second question asks who is more competitive with their peers when it comes time to the subject of appearance. To help answer my questions, I conducted a survey that was given to five females and five males. We all hear rumors as to why girls care more about looks and why girls are more competitive than guys when it comes to the subject of appearance. In spite of what we may assume, do you think there is really another answer to these questions? This is exactly what I set out to find.

On the question of why do girls care more about things like looks and weight, I discovered in the surveys that guys may care just as much as girls, but they don’t openly admit it as well or as much. For one thing, it isn’t everyday that you read in the tabloids that Brad Pitt has lost a lot of weight or has gotten fat, but on the front cover, you may discover how his wife Angelina is anorexic thin or has gained 35 pounds. In any case, on the survey, when asked if they heavily care about their appearance, all the girls said it depends on where they are going and who will be there. One girl even mentioned she is ok with being late to class as long as she is “properly” dressed and looking good. The guys, on the other hand, were not so concerned. One said he does care about his appearance, but the others said no, it doesn’t matter to me. Why don’t they feel the need to dress to impress?

On the subject of weight, I wanted to see just how these teenagers were dealing with their weight. I wanted to see how many of them ate healthy, or thought they were eating healthy to maintain a certain look. Only one of the girls said she ate healthy, and all the others did not consider themselves healthy eaters. When I read the girls portion of this survey, I was surprised. This was until I turned to the guy’s surveys. Three out of five of the guys considered themselves healthy eaters, yet when they answered the next question, do you indulge at dinner time, all of the guys said yes. Most girls said yes, while a few said they watched portion sizes. Guys said they ate healthy, yet they said they indulged. The girls who indulge said no, I know that’s not healthy…why do guys think it’s healthy to eat that way, but girls do not?

This struck me as funny. I would also like to mention that one of the girls put on her survey that she is concerned with portion size because she is afraid of how people will judge her based on how much she eats. However, she didn’t fail to mention that other people eat more than her. In other words, as long as people eat more than her, she has nothing to worry about. This proves one of my points that girls care more about things like appearance, even when on the subject of food.

One last point I would like to make is about weight. This seems to always be a touchy subject when girls talk about it, but less when guys do. Four out of five of the girls said they would like to weigh less than they do now. One was even concerned that she was getting extremely heavy due to stress. A girl who took the survey emphasized my point and wrote that not many girls want to be gain more weight these days. It’s all about losing weight. Before I gave the survey out, I thought I would read that the guys wanted to gain more weight because this is what I have observed in the past. However, only one said he would like to gain about 20 pounds and the others didn’t worry about their weight…so they say.

So the big question still stands: why do girls care more about things like looks and weight? I was not surprised to read the answer on all of these surveys. Every survey mentioned that girls stress more because of what’s in the media. They see things in magazines and on TV that say you have to be skinny. In today’s society, there is a certain “ideal” look and if you don’t have it, then you won’t be the “it” girl. I read in one survey that “girls definitely stress more because there is a greater pressure on them from society.” Another survey mentioned that “women are expected to live up to expectations that are unattainable and therefore are more concerned with unachievable goals.” These are pretty powerful statements, and surprisingly, they were quotes from two boys.

Magazines might mention that a female celebrity has gained weight or even that a celebrity has lost too much weight and the critics are mocking her for it. Either way, this is saying that looks matter. You have to look good to the public eye. The pressure is on. When people read this, they assume it’s about them as well, and that the only way to look good is to be perfect. But what is perfect? That is a whole other subject.

Are girls and guys more competitive when it comes time to the subject of appearance? I believe they are both equally competitive in their own ways. Boys may care about different things, but they still care. Boys approach the subject one way and girls go about it another way. That could all be a part of life. I discovered however, perhaps why girls care more about being skinny and why guys care more about being big. Both girls and guys on this survey said girls worry about those things more, but based on their answers, I think they almost care as much as the girls. A few guys mentioned they don’t talk about other guys weights and appearances but they talk about girls—maybe that’s one reason why girls feel the way they do. It’s weird how that works out. Girls talk about girls and guys talk about girls.

As I mentioned before, the competition between same the sex is almost as equal, based on my survey. However, guys are quieter about it. You can tell from their one word answers on the survey compared to the long answers on the girl’s surveys. One girl even mentioned that if guys did openly admit it, they would probably be made fun of. They may not be honest about it, but they probably go through the same thing. The boys always turned the answer around to talk about the girls, never themselves. “People stress because they are insecure, and girls stress because guys talk about them. It’s true, we talk about girls appearances.” This is one of the answers I received on the survey from one of the boys.

Considering the fact that not all my results came out the way I predicted, I think it’s only fair to switch things up and look at things from a new perspective. As I mentioned before, and as the main theme of my paper states, woman are portrayed in the media as having the “it” look. Therefore, they feel the need to fit this idealism because they assume that’s how society will judge them. I also made a surprising discovery in my research that perhaps guys do think like girls, but they are better at hiding how they feel. I decided to go outside of my original research plan and use more than just primary sources. My focus in this half of the paper will deal with how men are portrayed in the media, and how the media affects the way people think.
According to medialit.com, people are stereotyped in the media, and men are no
exception. The website stated that “media stereotypes have extra impact because they create images based on these assumptions, helping to shape men's own views about how they should act and how successful they are as men.” Ah yes, this is exactly what I observed in the surveys. Perhaps some of the guys who answered my survey felt they needed to act “manly” so they didn’t really write how they felt. Not even one guy wrote how men are portrayed in the media, or that guys can also feel insecure when it comes to things like appearances.

“Bravery, adventurousness, being able to think rationally, being strong and effective, for example, are all "manly" traits that are usually encouraged and so are the ability to think independently and take the initiative” (medialit.com). This makes complete sense to me now. Why would any of the guys want to admit to having issues with their weight, or that they feel like they have to watch their portion size if they have been taught to act manly? While woman are encouraged to have a certain type of beauty and sex appeal, men are encouraged to be “strong” in more ways than one.

“Males are discouraged from pursuing many positive traits that are perceived as unmanly. These include the ability to feel a range of emotions, including fear, hurt, confusion or despair. Even talking about these feelings is considered unmanly. Men are also not encouraged to learn to work cooperatively without the need for control…” This single quote can be used to support the reasoning behind the guy’s answers on the survey. How in the world can they admit to having competition with their friends when they have been told that it’s their job to always be in control? That’s exactly right…they can’t.

Through this research, I discovered many answers to my two questions: why do girls care more about things like weight and appearance, and who is more competitive when it comes to things like weight and appearance, girls or boys? I discovered that media has a great effect on the way people perceive themselves and today’s society. Although the media focuses a lot on women, I learned that men too have the same stereotype issues as women, but the world chooses not to focus on them.


References: Five male students at St. Johns
Five Female Students at St. Johns
Peoplemagazine.com
Medialit.com