International students: Not so different after all

“Yes mom, I promise I am doing fine. No dad, you don’t need to send me more food; I eat plenty and healthy at the dining hall. Mom, I told you already, I’ll be with a group of friends at the party tonight, I won’t go anywhere alone. Love you guys too!” This is just one of the many phone conversations held daily between my parents and I. Although I sound a bit impatient, the truth is, if it wasn’t for their support, I might not make here at St. John’s on my own.

I may only be five hours away from home, but sometimes, on those occasional lonely nights, it feels like I am thousands of miles away from home. However, I know this isn’t true, and if I really had to, I could jump on a bus or plane and go home. This type of reassurance has helped me to better transition into this new life of being a college student. On one hand, things in New York were foreign to me. I was forced to adjust to living in a large city with a lot of unfamiliar people. On the other hand, this was “my country.” I was born and raised here. Aside from the unfamiliar and diverse people, I felt pretty comfortable. My language is spoken here and the beliefs I grew up with in the United States are OK to be practiced here.

As I began to look around at St. Johns, I realized that not everyone was from the United States. In fact, diverse and dedicated, the students at St. Johns represent 38 states and 148 foreign countries. I know and understand how hard transitioning is for any American college student, but what about students who are not American? How will they learn to adjust and how different will transitioning be for them, if it is different at all.

When I reflected on my own college experience, I asked myself if a student’s country of origin affected their transition to college life. Would international students feel out of place in an American school? If students practiced certain beliefs at home, would they be able to, or be willing to practice them here at school? I never considered the fact that despite where a student is from, going to college is a big step, and no one takes it lightly, whether you are American or foreign to the country. Of course, things are not as familiar to them as they are to me, but as I mentioned before, not everything was familiar to me either.

Ira Aleksova, an international student from Macedonia, is quite a distance from home. However, despite the fact that she can’t see her parents on the weekends, their support for her as a student in America stays strong. In fact, it is equally as strong as any American student’s parents. Ira explained that the support of her family and friends back home is helpful. While she is thousands of miles away, her supporters’ back home call everyday, send packages, and send letters. According to Ira, her ability to easily transition to St. Johns has a lot to do with the support.

When she first came to America to attend St. Johns, Ruisa Scheffel, an international student from Brazil, felt lonely and homesick. She left behind family, friends, and a boyfriend. Eventually, over time, she made friends, and adjusting became so much easier. At certain times, she still felt lonely and homesick, but only when a special holiday came around.

After reading these results, a funny feeling came over me. These girls are not alone when they say that they occasionally feel homesick and miss the comfort of home. Is it weird that I feel the same way, even though I am from America? A student from the United States, who wished to remain anonymous, is able to see her family from time to time when they visit New York City. In times when they are not around, they make sure to call and keep in touch through internet, phone, and mail. Despite the closeness is distance, this student feels the pang of being away from home for the first time. This student experiences loneliness on the weekends when no one is around. However, this is common to both American students and international students.

The similarities in the way these three students transitioned into college amazed me. I assumed that distance and country of origin determined how a student would transition into college. When the American student was asked if adjusting to college was difficult, she admitted it was. “I think any change in life can be hard to adjust to.” On the survey, she commented on international students and said, “International students who are thrown into a different culture adjust differently. There is a language barrier and they are in a whole new culture.”

However, surprisingly, the international students did not feel this way at all. Ira felt as though she didn’t have any major problems adjusting to school, just because she was from Macedonia. In fact, she said transitioning was easy and after the first month, she even understood the professors. Some American students still haven’t even conquered that skill of understanding.

Adjusting to college life has a lot of factors behind it. For one thing, a student’s country of origin, as I am discussing, seems as though it would play a big role. However, I am discovering that it does not. According to College Student Development, “students use their values as standards of evaluation in determining what is good or bad, true or false, right or wrong, desirable or undesirable, important or unimportant.” I feel this is a major factor in determining how a student transitions to school. In fact, it does have a lot in common with a student’s country of origin, but it overrides that factor. Value plays a big role in transitioning. The book also states that “the values of college students are influenced by family, friends, religion, personal experiences, and societal factors.” For example, the American student I surveyed commented that on the weekends, she enjoys staying on campus and her beliefs play a big role in this decision. Ira and Ruisa both enjoy going out on the weekends because that is what they did at home.

Another factor that plays into transitioning is conformity. Conformity is adjusting one's behavior or thinking to coincide with a group standard, and is often the result of group or peer pressure. Usually, the person adopts the new behavior or attitude as his or her own. This statement is true for a majority of students, no matter what country they are from. The two international students made friends once they moved here, and by natural instinct, might have felt pressured to conform to other’s beliefs and values. The American student and international students all stayed true to their beliefs, despite what country they came from. Although they conformed to groups, it wasn’t the country of origin that determined how well they transitioned to college.
My results were quite surprising to me because I assumed things that were not true about international students. In my autobiography about this report, I wrote that “I saw the way my friends transitioned compared to me and I caught on to the fact that the country a person grows up in will determine how they will transition. At this time, I want to know how others feel about this and how their beliefs affect their transition.” Indeed, I did find out how international students transition, and I was wrong to write this in my paper. I did see the way my friends transitioned compared to me, but when it came time to these other students, things were not all that different. I found that just because a student doesn’t grow up in a certain country, doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t adjust the same way as American students, or the students in that country.

Even though a student’s country of origin is important when discussing value and transitioning, it isn’t the determining factor in how that person will necessarily transition. I found that most students adjust to college the same way. At first, they make feel homesick and alone, but eventually, over time, things change. They all make friends and conform to certain groups. Having support from home is also a factor that helps the transitioning process. I found that despite what county a student comes from, transitioning is a developing process that takes time, no matter who you are.

Job fair

Yesterday was the St. John’s University Career Center job fair. I work at the Career Center, so I’ve seen a lot of the things that went on to organize the fair. Unfortuantly, I was forced to do a lot of the work to get ready for this fair as well. Yesterday I was stuck in Carnesseca Arena for four hours swiping people in. Ugh, talk about being bored. It amazed me to see how many older people (Alumni) showed up for the fair. In a way, it kind of scared me.

I really hope that by the time I am 25, I will have a career…one that I love and one will that last. At the fair, a lot of alumni showed up with Resumes and ready to talk to the employers. In fact, one lady even had her child with her. I’m not in the career field quite yet, but does that look bad to an employer? Not the fact that she had a child, but the fact that she was 30 and still didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life. Last week, a man came into the Career Center because he was alumni who had an appt. because he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. This man is married and has a few children. He was 47 years old and still did not have a career. I just don’t quite understand this. He graduated from St. Johns quite a while ago, so what happened after that? I know that maybe because of some circumstances he could not get a job, but why for so long? The Career Center has a lot of older people calling and saying they just don’t know what to do with themselves, and they are 40 and 50 years old. I just hope this isn’t me after graduation.

Pretty stumped

As we sit here in English class preparing to show our research, I find myself somewhat lost and unprepared. One guy in my group has really cool articles about the way St. John’s University use to be. He found news articles from the 90’s when St. John’s first decided they wanted to build dorms. His articles and information were actually interesting. The girl in my group was doing her report on woman and how they’ve changed over the years. Fashion played a major role in that and so she found pictures to show this change.

I, on the other hand, only had surveys and a few facts from books. My research pretty much stunk compared to there’s. I am seriously stumped with doing research. I don’t know where to find information for my paper. Online research didn’t help. Library research didn’t help. My surveys were a flop. Where to now? I just have no idea where to go from here. I wrote my paper, but it’s missing quite a bit. HELP :(

St. Johns demographics

My report is based on international students, so I thought it would be a good idea if I went on the website and found the demographics for St. John's University.

More than 18,000 students are enrolled at our five campuses – 14,229 of them undergraduates. Diverse and dedicated, our students represent 38 states and 148 foreign countries.


Reference: Stjohns.edu/about/diverse.sju

3 Survey results

My paper has a lot of opinion in it, mostly being my own because this is my theory/idea paper. However, because my paper is on international students, it is obvious that I need to have opinions from student's coming from different countries. I decided that I wanted to have another American fill out my survey, just so that my paper isn't based sole on my thoughts and opinions as an American.



1. Name (optional) Gender: Female

*If you feel like any of these questions are too personal, don’t answer them!


What country were you born in? United States

What country do you live in when you are not attending St.Johns? USA

What are the universities like in your country compared to the ones in the United States? N/A

Do you feel homesick often? Sometimes on the weekends when no one is around.

Do you talk to your friends/family back home? How often? Yes, at least once a day.

How do your family/friends support you while you are at school (for example, do they send you packages, letters, call you?) They call me and visit me.

Has their support helped you to better transition/adjust to being at college? Most definitely. They helped me to realize that I am not alone and that they are available to talk to if I feel homesick.

Did you find it difficult to adjust to being at an American college? If so, what sort of difficulties did/do you have? I think any change in life can be hard to adjust to, especially international students who are thrown into a different culture. There is a language barrier and the cultural differences that make it difficult to adjust because they are so different.

Do you believe being from another country has affected the way you transitioned or adjusted to school in America? If so, how? Being from a different country is difficult, but I don't think they (international students) adjust much differently from American college students. One difference, however, is that it isn't easy to visit home on the smaller vacations such as Thanksgiving or Easter weekend.

Do you prefer to go out on the weekends or stay on campus? Does your answer have anything to do with your culture or beliefs that you practiced at home? I enjoy staying on campus. It has everything to do with my beliefs and the difference between those of so many American college students.

Since coming to the United States, how, if at all, have you changed as a person? I have developed better habits and tried to get ride of my bad habits.

Will you be returning to St. Johns next semester? Why or why not. Yes. St. Johns has so much to offer in academics, extracurricular activities, and ways to explore NYC.




2. Name (optional) Ruisa Scheffel Gender: Female

*If you feel like any of these questions are too personal, don’t answer them!

What country were you born in? Brazil

What country do you live in when you are not attending St.Johns? Brazil

What are the universities like in your country compared to the ones in the United States? They are very different. They don't give support to sports, for example.

Do you feel homesick often? Not often, just when it is a special occasions (Birthday).

Do you talk to your friends/family back home? How often? Everyday

How do your family/friends support you while you are at school (for example, do they send you packages, letters, call you?) We talk on the phone everyday.

Has their support helped you to better transition/adjust to being at college? Yes, without them I wouldn't be here.

Did you find it difficult to adjust to being at an American college? If so, what sort of difficulties did/do you have? Yes, in the beginning I was feeling alone and I use to have a boyfriend in Brazil. It was really hard to not see him, family, and friends everyday.

Do you believe being from another country has affected the way you transitioned or adjusted to school in America? If so, how? Yes, in my country we have more support from professors, for example.

Do you prefer to go out on the weekends or stay on campus? Does your answer have anything to do with your culture or beliefs that you practiced at home? I love to go out with my friends. I miss parties at home.

Since coming to the United States, how, if at all, have you changed as a person? This is the first time I'm living by myself. Here, I have to do everything and make decisions alone. I grew up mentally. Now, I am more responsible.

Will you be returning to St. Johns next semester? Why or why not. Yes. I love it here and the city. I'm also on the volleyball team. I am sure coming back.




3. Name (optional) Ira Aleksova Gender: Female

*If you feel like any of these questions are too personal, don’t answer them!

What country were you born in? Macedonia

What country do you live in when you are not attending St.Johns? Macedonia

What are the universities like in your country compared to the ones in the United States? STULOV University
NY University

Do you feel homesick often? Yes

Do you talk to your friends/family back home? How often? Yes. Everyday.

How do your family/friends support you while you are at school (for example, do they send you packages, letters, call you?) They do all of that and even more.

Has their support helped you to better transition/adjust to being at college? Yes, they have helped me a lot.

Did you find it difficult to adjust to being at an American college? If so, what sort of difficulties did/do you have? No. It was very easy. At first, I didn't understand the professors really well. But, that was only the first month.

Do you believe being from another country has affected the way you transitioned or adjusted to school in America? If so, how? Yes. I find many differences. Some of them are positive and some are not. You always compare things.

Do you prefer to go out on the weekends or stay on campus? Does your answer have anything to do with your culture or beliefs that you practiced at home? To go out and have fun. Yes, I did the same thing back in my country.

Since coming to the United States, how, if at all, have you changed as a person? I've become more aware that if I want to get something, I have to work for it by myself. I've become more responsible.

Will you be returning to St. Johns next semester? Why or why not. Yes. I love my tennis team and the competitions we play. I enjoy living in NYC. It's a true opportunity for a job and fulfilling my dreams.

My birthday!

Do you remember when you were 9 years old and your birthday was only a week away? You would remind everyone how many days were left until your birthday at least three times a day. Then, when your birthday finally arrived, you were up super early and expected everyone to cater to you all day. It was as everyone you encountered was expected to know that it was your birthday. Hello, it was your birthday. You only deserved the best.

Well, ten years later and I haven’t changed a bit. I won’t lie, when my birthday comes around, I become even more selfish than I already am. I can’t help myself. A birthday is a very special day, no matter how old you are turning…even if it 19. Some people don’t appreciate their own special day and that’s their own fault. I, on the other hand, like to take advantage. I have a count down of my birthday going right now, and as I would like you all to know, it’s in 5 days! Wahoo, I am so excited. Considering it’s a Friday night, I have big plans for myself. I have already warned my friends of my behaviors on my birthday and how they are expected to support me. Hehe. I’m just kidding (kind of). My birthday weekend should be fun because Friday (the day of my birthday) is the Carnival on the Great Lawn. I love rides and free food; so obviously, this should be a good day. Friday night, I plan on going out to dinner and partying. I mean, it is Friday. That’s only expected of me! Saturday, although it will no longer be my birthday, are the concerts. Yay for Katie’s Birthday weekend!

Library research

I spent some time in the library before started my research paper just so I could get a few more ideas. Here are some of the things I came across that will hopefully help me out!

-Individuals use their values as standards of evaluation in determining what is good or bad, true or false, right or wrong, desirable or undesirable, important or unimportant

-Individuals do not always behave in ways that are consistent with their stated beliefs and values

-The values of college students are influenced by family, friends, religion, personal experiences, and societal factors. Their perceptions, motives, goals, interests, and decision making processes are closely related to the systems of values they hold

-Conformity - is adjusting one's behavior or thinking to coincide with a group standard. Conformity is often the result of group or peer pressure. Usually, the person adopts the new behavior or attitude as his or her own.

**Note-Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find as much information as I had hoped. If anyone has an any ideas or references that they think would help, let me know!

References: *College Student Development-Leighton C.Whitaker, PhD, Richard E. Slimak, PhD-1996-The Haworth Press-Binghamton, NY
*http://web.umr.edu/~pfyc212b/social.htm

Survey/interview questions

Although my interviews/surveys have not been completed by my "subjects," I wanted to share with all of you the questions I gave and will be giving to students. Feedback is welcomed and encouraged!

English 1000C survey

Name (optional)____________________Gender__________

*If you feel like any of these questions are too personal, don’t answer them!


1. What country were you born in?

2. What country do you live in when you are not attending St.Johns?

3. What are the universities like in your country compared to the ones in the United States?

4. Do you feel homesick often?

5. Do you talk to your friends/family back home? How often?

6. How do your family/friends support you while you are at school (for example, do they send you packages, letters, call you?)

7. Has their support helped you to better transition/adjust to being at college?

8. Did you find it difficult to adjust to being at an American college? If so, what sort of difficulties did/do you have?

9. Do you believe being from another country has affected the way you transitioned or adjusted to school in America? If so, how?

10. Do you prefer to go out on the weekends or stay on campus? Does your answer have anything to do with your culture or beliefs that you practiced at home?

11. Since coming to the United States, how, if at all, have you changed as a person?

12. Will you be returning to St. Johns next semester? Why or why not.

Just a thought

As I was walking out of Marillac, I heard some kid tell his friend to write his paper on what kind of thinker he was. When I heard this, it got me thinking (funny how that works out). I asked myself what kind of thinker I was. As my parents would say, sometimes I don’t think (hehe). But really, I had never thought about that question before…I’m not sure too many do. Is it even a real question?! I think my thinking varies depending on what I am doing…See, nope, that doesn’t make sense. No matter what, I am thinking. So ah, I think that’s my answer. Sometimes I think rationally and sometimes I don’t use ration to decided things. That is when I make bad choices. This is an extremely difficult answer, and I don’t know what to say. Ok, what kind of a thinker am I? I would like to think of myself as a coherent thinker, and someone who makes the right decision about things. Does this describe what kind of thinker I am though? Is anyone else becoming thoroughly confused? I am beginning to wonder if maybe that kid in Marillac was joking with his friend…maybe that’s why I shouldn’t listen to other people’s conversations…

Now if you didn’t notice, I used the word ‘think’ in every other sentence. That right their just proves that everything takes thinking. As Descartes (or however you spell it) once said, “I think therefore I am.” Hmm, that is who said that, right? Well in any case, it’s obviously natural for us to think because that’s what makes us differ from animals, our ability to rationalize (by thinking that is). Boy I feel really philosophical right now.

Do I have to?

Have you ever been in the mood to just sit around do nothing on certain days? I’m sure being in college, you’ve all had that experience. I think a natural laziness comes over teens when they enter college. Anyway, have you ever had one of those lazy days on a weekend? For some reason, this seems so not ok when you’re in college. I don’t know how anyone else feels, but sometimes I feel pressured to be active on a Friday and Saturday night. It’s like when you enter college, you must be teenage college mode, which means going out on the weekend. I feel like if I don’t go out, I’ll be a loser. But sometimes, I just want to hang out and watch a movie.

Then I have another problem I think about. When I sit back at the dorm on a Friday or Saturday night, I sense that I’m missing something with my friends. It’s always just my luck that something really exciting goes on at a party when I’m not there and that just makes me feel guilty. Is it weird to feel this way? I don’t want to be known as the loser who doesn’t go out and party! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love going out and partying or just going out, but sometimes I just don’t want to.

Another random blog—Because I’m MAD

Right now I am extremely upset at the stupid blogger website, at the stupid internet, and at my stupid self. Remember when the professor told us to write our entries in Microsoft Word, and then copy and paste so we don’t lose then? Well, um, yeah, it’s a spectacular idea. I thought I would be totally fine by just writing it in the blog area and posting it because I’ve never had a problem before. Usually when I am doing something totally unimportant, like writing on someone’s Facebook wall, my internet connection is all happy and never fails on me. When I decided to write a really nice blog entry, it decided to be evil and disconnect. The worst part is, I was completely done writing and I already pressed publish. Right when I entered it, the internet disconnects and a “web page not found” message pops up. You just have no idea how angry I am right now. First of all, I am mad at myself because it was my fault for not listening to the professor and doing what I should have, and second, I am mad at the internet. I am in Marillac right now and I am supposed to have a wireless connection. Why is it telling me right now that I am have no connection? Technically, that is not possible! Argg

Marillac experience

I'm trying out this whole "go to a place and write your experiences" thing. I chose Marillac because it is pouring outside and I thought it would be pointless to go from work (at the UC), back to the Resident Village, and back up to St. John's Hall. No way, that was not working for me considering my new umbrella is a piece of crap and already broke. Anyway, I'm sure you have all been to the Marillac food court and knows what goes on. To be honest, it isn't all that interesting. People are here. People are eating. People are talking. That's pretty much the breakdown of what I am seeing. If only I was closer to people and I could overhear their convos. Now that would make for an interesting blog.

Okay, okay, I'll put in a little more effort. I like Marillac because it isn't like Montgoris. No, I am no referring to food, but to the atmosphere. Montgoris is a place where students go (well a majority of students) and eat. You never usually see students go in and stay for more than an hour. They don't really have a reason to. What I am saying is that Montgoris is not the best hang out place. Marillac, on the other hand, is a much better play to sit and chill. Take me for example. I didn't want to travel back and forth from building to building so I stopped here to hang out. When I came in, I saw groups of students just hanging out at table and only 2 out of the 5 were eating. It's pretty cool that if students want to take a break, and maybe even have a snack, they can come here. It's also a great place to come if someone wants to eat alone. Last week none of friends wanted to go to lunch, so I came here and ate. For some strange reason, I felt more comfortable eating alone here than I would at Montgoris. On that note, I am off to grab a cup of tea :)

Random blog

So after reading someone else's blog from this class, I decided that I cam totally slacking! I feel ashamed at my blogs. Tonight I reached my 60th blog and I was ecstatic about it! Some girl in our class totally busted my bubble. This made me quite upset. However, instead of complaining, I am just going to keep writing whatever comes to mind. My new goal is to write in my blog at least twice a day. I figure if I do this, I'll be up to 80 in no time. Right about now, I don't even care what my blogs say. I may even resort to writing about what I did today...well OK, they hopefully won't be that bad, but you know what I am saying. In the beginning I felt like my blogs were somewhat interesting. As time went on, I started writing about random things, and they went a bit downhill. Why is this I wonder? Perhaps random is better because I won't be thinking as much about writing intellectually, so maybe it'll just come naturally. To be honest, I don;t know what type of blogs we are supposed to be writing. Are they supposed to be formal, informal, intellectually, random, thoughtful...what?! I guess as long as we are writing right? Wrong. I heard some people talking about how the professor said their blogs weren't thoughtful enough, or something to that effect. In other words, even though we are just supposed to write about anything, we are supposed to write about something specific. Maybe I should have asked this is the beginning if the semester, but what exactly are we supposed to be writing about in these blogs?

Ratemyprofessor.com

I am not quite sure if I trust ratemyprofessor.com. Last summer, before school began, I went on this site and looked up a few of my professors. I was really excited because most of my professors had high reviews and were considered easy graders. Well, now that I look back at the first semester, I realize the reviews were so off. One professor last semester was horrible. He showed up 20 minutes late for every class, and was such a jerk to us. According to the reviews, he was an awesome teacher, really laid back, and gave an easy A. Although I did recieve and A in the class, he wasn;t my any means laid back or an easy grader. He told us up front that he was going to teach our class not as an ungraduatre class, but as a graduate class. The work load for the class was unbelievable, and it was only a DNY class. Needless to say, I am a bit upset at this website. I have a hard time believing it.

A girl I work with made a good point about the site and reviews. She didn't trust it because those students may have different learning styles than someone else who reads it, so technically, they are based on who you are and the type of learner you are.

Home

"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you."


Reference: Christian Morgenstern

Home sweet home

Ok, so lets disregard my previous blog because I think I might have come up with a topic to write about. Last summer when I was preparing to leave for school, I was just so excited that I couldn't contain myself. I was looking forward to getting away from home, being on my own, and being independent. I honestly think one reason I wanted to be away from home was because I wanted my parents and family to be proud of me for taking the initiative and getting out of Claremont. For some strange reason, when I tell people I go to school in Queens, they just get wide eyes. It amazed people that I go to school five hours away from home, and on top of that, I live in NYC. This may sound silly, but I like when people gloat about how cool it is that I live in the city. Don't ask me why I feel this way, but it makes me feel confident and good about myself, and reassures me that I am doing the right thing.

When I first told my parents that my decision was St. Johns, they were bit upset. They wanted me to be closer to home, only because they would miss me. Of course they were happy for me, but on the other hand, they couldn't just get in their car and drive to see me whenever they wanted. To me, this was good thing. Part of going to college is to get away from everything that is "normal" to me. This may sound as though I don;t love my parents, because obviously I do, it;s just that I didn't want to see them every weekend. Wouldn't it be more fun to go without seeing them for 3 months and then see them again? This is my idea of college anyway.

However, these days, I;m starting to see things differently. I still love being at St. Johns and i am not homesick by any means, but I am just starting to miss Claremont. About a week before Easter break, I was itching to go home. I just could not wait until Wednesday when i could hop on the plane and go home to my family and friends. I never thought I would feel this way about being home. I am beginning to realize that it's OK to miss home. It doesn't mean I am any less independent or anything. It simply means I miss my family and I need a break from school. When May 8th comes and it';s time for me to part from NYC, I might cry a little because this city has grown on me. Before long, it will be like my home away from home. However, I am looking forward to this summer, so I can be with my family and friends, and prepare for another 9 months away from home.

A bunch of nothing

So I was thinking about skipping the journal today, but then I read my horoscope. It said "take time to write in a journal today." Wow, way to make me feel guilty. As you can see, I decided to take my horoscope's advice because it just might be on to something. To be honest, I have nothing I want to write about write now. No offense to some people in the class, but I hate reading entries that say "So today was really boring," or "today I went to class, then I took a nap. After that I ate dinner. It was a good day." I'm sorry, but I don't want to write those kinds of entries. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect anyone to read mine because they are probably just as boring, but to me, writing that stuff is equally as boring as reading it.

However, today's blog might be that uninteresting blog I was just referring to. I just cannot think of what I want to write about. Sometimes I have days where I come up an interesting topic that I can't wait to write about, then other days I have a complete writer's block and nothing good comes out. Perhaps this is because I'm still tired from this eventful weekend...I call it eventful, but I'm not sure if sitting around the house relaxing with family and friends is quite eventful. It's funny how tired you can get from doing nothing. This morning I woke up and I was debating getting out of bed. I knew it wouldn't be good for me to sleep in because then I would just feel guilty for the rest of the day. My horoscope already did that for me.

Easter day

As I am writing this, I am seriously busting at the seams, which definitely means I had a good Easter, Why is it that Easter is the one holiday that I eat NONE stop. I don’t even eat as much food at Thanksgiving as I do at Easter. When I think about it now, it kind of makes me ill to think how much I indulge. When I think of Easter, the first thing that comes to mind is chocolate. This is probably not a good thing, considering Easter has more important meaning. I just can’t help myself. For this, I blame my parents…ok, I know this isn’t true, but the more I think about it, the more I realize this whole thing started when I was little. The “Easter Bunny” comes to my house and hides lots and lots of candy for me to find and eat. Well, despite the fact that I am 18 and my sister is 22, this concept has yet to go away.

For some reason, we can not let the Easter tradition fade away. This morning, my sister and I came downstairs just like everything other Easter and searched for our baskets. Yes, my parents still hide them like when we were little. Except now, it’s even better because not only do we get candy baskets, but we get clothes and makeup..etc…I keep asking myself how long this tradition will last. I can seriously see myself at the age of 25 coming down the stairs and looking for my Easter gifts…is this a bad thing?!!

Being home again

It’s crazy how things change after only three months of not being home. I mean, I guess even when things don’t change, it just feels different. First of all, I came home and I plopped myself on our extremely comfy couch and turned on the new flat screen TV. I was excited to enjoy the couch and TV because we got it right after Christmas break and I didn’t get to enjoy it. Anyway, I grabbed the remote and changed the channel to 20. For those of you who watch TV at school, you know this channel is MTV. Well, apparently in New Hampshire, things are different. I totally forgot that MTV at our house is 58. It was so weird. It just came so naturally for me to change it to 20 for MTV.

Later that night, I went to grab a glass for a drink and I went to the wrong cupboard. Wow, I have only been away for three months and I already forgot where we keep the things in the kitchen. I felt so odd. I kind of felt like I wasn’t supposed to be home, or like this wasn’t even my house. I didn’t like this feeling at all! Of course, nothing else really changed. I got used to things again. Except, when I got in Wednesday night, I went to my room and got quite a suprise. Not only had my mom cleaned my room, but she had moved things all around and bought me a new comforter. When my sister came home, she came into my room and something about her and I switching rooms. Even though she is older, I have always had the bigger room. She is graduating from college next month and plans on living at home for a little while. For once in my life, I wasn't selfish and told her she could have my room.

Airplane experience

It’s quite ridiculous that I got on this plane only 15 minutes ago, and the captain is already telling us that we are starting our descend into Burlington, Vermont. Some people might think it’s silly that I fly home, but why not fly? It takes about 5 hours to drive home, but only 40 minutes to fly! I usually fly Delta, but we decided to try something new. My mom booked me a flight with Jet blue. I absolutely love this plane. First of all, I am so happy my flight wasn’t delayed because right now it’s pouring out and in Burlington they are having a snow storm. I just want to get home now! Anyway, my plane is so darn cool. I am typing and watching MTV. Um yeah, my seat has its very own TV. This is just amazing…I am impressed.

Airplanes are extremely tiny…even the big ones. I always feel bad when I am walking through the aisles because I end up hitting someone. My backpack was slightly large today because I couldn’t fit everything into my suite case. I kept turning to look at the seat numbers and when I did, I would slam my bag into some innocent person’s face. Then, when I found my seat, I had the window, but the two other people were already sitting, so they both had to unbuckle and get out of the seat area,. In the meantime, I’m holding up the entire line of people trying to get onto the plane. What I seriously hate is when people take their time putting their personal belongings into the over head compartment. Then, when we were starting to leave the gate, the captain made an announcement that if the person in the back of the plane didn’t sit down, we wouldn’t leave for another hour. Apparently, some idiot in the back was standing up doing only God knows what. After about 10 minutes, he finally realized every pair of eyes on the plane was glaring at him and he sat down. Goodness gracious, now I am being forced to put my computer away.

Just not fair

Ok, so I know as St. John's students we say this over and over, but the rules at St. Johns are just plain silly...and some of them are not fair. Right now, I don't even care about the visitor rule or any of those. I am referring to the one (if you dorm you will know) that is posted outside of our doors. It says something about if your roomates or suitemates are doing illegal things in your room, then you need to stop them because if they get caught, everyone gets in trouble....um, hello? That does not make any sense. First of all, I am not about to be a snitch and go tell my RA that my suitemates are doing illegal things. If its going to injury me in some way, then yes, I might tell her, but other than that, no. Especially considering they are my friends, why would I want to get them in trouble?

However, if they get caught doing something, shouldn't that be their problem? Lets be realistic here. If I went over to the other room and said "please don't do ---------," I highly doubt that would be effective. Following this I go tell my RA. Hm, when they get in trouble I wonder who they will blame for telling. Yeah, that would be me (speaking hypothetically). I just think it's really stupid then everyone in the suite would get a violation because ONE of the rooms isn't following the rules. How is this my problem? What ever happened to taking responsibility for yourself?

Riding the subway

The subway station is such an awesome experience every time you ride it. I can’t get over how exciting it can be, even on the slowest days when there are only 5 people (including yourself) on the train. It amazes me what you can witness from one stop to another. Just sitting and observing people from afar is my absolute favorite. The subway is so diverse and you never see the same people twice, so you can experience something new each time. When I walk onto the train I love when I catch the ending of someone else’s conversation and it leaves just a bit of mystery as to what they were saying. The Subway is also a great spot to get entertained by random people. Just tonight someone got on the train and started break dancing. Last week a band got on and sang a song from The Lion King. The best part was, they sang really well.

What I like most is when I meet someone friendly. During the rush hour you can tell when someone is coming from work and whether or not they have had a good day. Tonight the train was extremely crowded and I was standing up holding onto the pole. An old man slid over just so I could sit down. When I said thank you he had the biggest smile on his face, which made me smile. Last month I was riding the train and the one seat available had something gross all over it. Of course, I didn’t want to sit so I planned on standing. Another man was sitting in the seat beside it reading the paper. When he saw why I didn’t sit, he took out part of his paper and put it on the seat for me. I just couldn’t thank him enough. It’s the little things I experience on the subway that make me so happy.

Writing Center quote

"Here I am, where I ought to be. A writer must have a place where he or she feels this, a place to love and be irritated with" is a quote I found written on the wall in the Writing Center. I really like it because it's true about a writer...and it fit quite well in the Writing Center I suppose. First off, the Writing Center is place where students can go to...well, write. But, we all know it's more than that. Whether you're writing, researching, or need a quiet space to study/do homework, the writing center is the place to go. If you're serious about your writing and your work, why not go to the writing center and get support? Even if you are an author who thinks they don't need help, the writing center is still the place to be. It's "where you ought to be."

However, I don't think the quote was said just so the people at the writing center could write it on the wall. I just wanted to relate it the writing center considering that's where I found it. Anyway, I believe a writer does need his or her own space to do writing. Whether it's in your room or on the Great Lawn, if it influences you in any way, it's "your" space. We need have a place that encourages us when writing. Like the quote says, "a place to love and be irritated with." You can be influences by a place even if it isn't a positive influence. We can write about things whether they make us happy, sad, angry, frustrated, or excited. If it is a place that allows you to write about your overflow of powerful feelings (as Wordsworth said), then it's your place.

Oh the beautiful weather

So as I'm sure you all know, today was an absultely BEAUTIFUL day outside. At first, I doubted the weather man when he said it was going to be 71 degrees because I haven't felt warmth like that since spring break. However, the weather man made me a very happy girl! When I walked out of the gym at 10:00, it already felt like 70 degrees, and the day hadn't really even started (I consider the afternoon the real start of the the day). Unfornuatly, I had to work at 12 and then go to class at 3. I was sitting through a lecture in Romantic Lit and I could hear a bunch of guys outside being loud...it made me very envious because I was sitting in hot class, attempting to pay attention. After class, when I walked out of St. John's Hall, I couldn't believe what I saw! In front of the library there was about 50 kids just hanging out. On the Great Lawn tons of guys were playing football and other games. I was just so excited!

For the first time in like 5 months, the campus looked like a real college campus. My suitemate and I took a walk around campus just to check it all out, and I was seriously amazed. It looked like everyone finally came out their dorm rooms to enjoy the sun. It's crazy how the winter keeps everyone inside. The dorms are so icky, and being cooped up is quite miserable. I liked feeling like I was really at college. In movies, you always see tons of kids walking around campus, and socializing. The St. Johns Campus never looks this good. Yay for the beautiful weather! I'm in love :)

Saying goodbye...for the second time

As freshman, we come to school not really knowing anyone. Sometimes, especially if you are moving far from home, it can be a hard transition to make. Often times, we leave our friends back home, and we come to school and are forced to meet new people. Eventually, we establish what I like to call a “set group of friends.” You hang out with people outside of this group as well, but you always have that one group, just like at home. That one group of friends is the people you can always count on to make you laugh and are the “go to people” for plans on Friday nights.

If you were to transfer out of school after your first year, you have to start all over again. The transition period begins all over again. They say when you transfer you have to establish a new group of friends. Thankfully, I’m not transferring because I love St. Johns. However, I can’t say the same about my friends. I’m not even transferring but my transition period sophomore year will begin all over again.

For very silly reasons, a majority of my friends are leaving me in May when the school year is all over. I just have to say that I am really upset about this. Of course, I love my friends and that’s why I’m mad/upset, but what makes me even crazier, is the fact that I am forced to make new friends. Obviously I was planning on doing so anyway, but not this much! I have my set group of friends and my “go to” people on Friday night. I don’t want to have to find new go to people. This is just not fair :(

The type of research I prefer

As we have learned in this class, there are many different types of research. As some of us learned, the library isn't the only place to do research. Our world is filled with millions of sources of researching possibilities. I'm sure a lot of you are with me when I say I'm not that big a fan of the libarary. ok, this may sound bad, but I would rather do research outside of the library. Of course I visit quite a bit because I am forced to learn something scholarly (which isn't bad, but you'll see my point in a few). I shouldn't say I hate the libarary because I really don't. I love going randomly and just finding a new book to read. That can be quite exciting...

However, I prefer to use sources outside of the book. As I was saying before, my favorite type of research is one I can use without a scholalry source. This type of research I speak so highly of is observation. Ah yes, if you ask me, there is no better sources then your observations and experiences. When I write my papers, I like to use people as my information givers because it's like talking to the author themselves. When you read a book and get information, it's sometimes hard to understand what the person is saying, or even difficult to feel connected with the topic.

For my first paper, I took a survey of five guys and five girls. When I read their answers, I had an easy time writing my paper because I felt a connection with these people. My peers are just like me. We have a lot of the same ideas and a lot of the same believes. For my second paper, I'm taking somewhat of the same route. I want to talk to my peers so I can become more related to the topic I am writing about.

America

The other day I was talking to one of my friends here at St. Johns about guys. My friend, who shall remain nameless, isn't from the United States. She is an international student from Europe.
The two of us were just talking about usual girl stuff. You know, how much boys irritate us and how they are such big jerks. As we got more into our conversation, she started telling me how she hasn't found any cute boys here at St Johns or in even in the city itself. She went on to tell me how the boys in the United States are not cute what-so-ever and the guys in her country are much better looking. This just kind of made me laugh, and obviously, didn't bother me. In fact, I agreed that the boys in her country are probably really good looking.

As the conversation progressed, I became a little more upset because she turned the subject around and started to "bash" the US a bit. First she started saying the thing about guys, which was alright by me, but then she said she didn't think people around here are very friendly. She said people pretend to be your friends, but then next time you see them, they'll pretend they don't even know you. According to her, people in her country would never do that. This made me feel bad because I wanted to know oif everyone felt this way about America...

I don't think my friend was trying to be mean and purposely insult Americans, but that's kind of how I took it. I felt like maybe this is how everyone views America/Americans and I don't like that at all. I don't want to be known as someone isn't friendly just because I'm from the US. I've only met a few exchange students who go to St. Johns, but I've never really had an in depth convo with them as I did this girl, so I don't know their views. I'm sure she has met some people who are very rude, or fake, but is that a reason to make such a statement about America? I believe this statement can relate to some people here, but if you think about it, everywhere you go, you encounter people like that. I guarantee if I was to move to Europe, I would meet someone who wasn't very friendly. I just don't think everyone in America should be given a bad name because of those who choose not to be nice.

Where I ought to be

"Here I am, where I ought to be. A writer must have a place where he or she feels this, a place to love and be irritated with."



Reference: Louise Erdrich

Writing and Reading

"Writing and reading is to me synonymous with existing."



Reference: Gertrude Stein

Feeling a tad bit fuzzy

When we were first "assigned" or told about our first research paper, I knew exactly what topic I wanted to write about. I had been working on this subject for a week or so and had written a few entries on it already. This topic (The differences Between Boys and Girls) excited me and I couldn't wait to write about it. I was not only interested in it, but it was something I knew I could write about and catch other people's interest as well. However, I am stumped right now. As we come upon our second research paper, I seem to find myself in a bit of a rut. I've gone through my blogs all night and nothing seems to catch my eye. Oh what to do!

It never occured to me (until now) that I don't have to write about something that is already in my blog. I mean, it was I who said "It's best to go out of the box" and "College is all about taking risks." I suppose this can related to my papers as well. Now that we've completed our first papers, I feel like we should have somewhat of an idea of how to write a good paper. Am I correct when I say this? Are we supposed to have a greater knowledge of what a good paper is? I understand that our papers should show improvement, and I'm sure everyone's paper will...even if the improvement is something small, such as better grammer. I think my problem is that I am thinking too much about the paper. With the first paper, I went about things with ease because I loved the topic I was writing about. With this paper, I don't have a topic right off, and this kind of scares me! I definitely have a lot of thinking to do. I am hoping that something or someone will come into my life soon inspire me to write an amazing paper!

Talk about lack of freedom

So today I went to the library with my suitemate Jess. Sadly, she had attempted to conquer the libarary alone but failed miserably. She isn't the type to make frequent trips to the library she's more or a Wiki girl), so she had no idea as to what she was doing. When she came to my room begging for help, I couldn't help but say yes. I felt flattered and kind of smart because I use the library weekly...and I also felt kind of dorky..haha but anyway...

We made it to the libarary and I brought Jess to the computers. We started to search the Hatian Revolution, when a few of her classmates told her that their teacher had set aside books for them to use. We thought, oh you know, that's cool, we'll look for these books first and then check out the books that the teacher had left. Well, come to find out, they weren't allowed to use any other books other than the ones left by the teacher! We were both so confused. Jess was supposed to be doing a research project, yet, what research was she really doing? To make matters worse, they were only allowed to take the books out for 2 hours. This whole situation made me mad and I'm not even in the class. I think after having this class for 2 1/2 months now, I come to realize what it means to do research and what freedom in the classroom is. This teacher has restricted freedom altogether. It's so ridiculous that the class wasn't able to find their own sources.

First of all, most of the books were in use by all the other students, and second of all, everyone is going to have the same information! What is the fun of that? This whole project leaves hardly any learning experience or freedom what-so-ever. If Jess or any other student were to find their own information, they might learn or discover something in another book that no one else knew. I was just appalled over this whole situation!

Sense and Sensibility

...for where the mind is perhaps rather unwilling to be convinced, it will always find something to support its doubts..."



Reference: Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austin

Report #1 Reflection

To be honest, I didn’t have any predictions as to how well or how bad my first paper would come out. Of course, I wanted to conduct a research and produce an out-of-this- world paper, but that just wishful thinking. I knew that my first paper wouldn’t be and didn’t have to be perfect, so I kept this in mind. At the same time, I set my standards somewhat high so that I wouldn’t slack at any moment just because this was our first, non-guided paper. In the end, I surprisingly found a few positive aspects of my paper that even I liked and, of course, I made mistakes that hopefully won’t be made again.

To begin, I’ll share my thoughts on what I did well on (or personally thought I did well on). One of the most important parts of writing a research paper is to be interested in the topic you are researching. I chose a topic that I had been writing about in my blog. It was a topic I thoroughly enjoyed because I was able to write my paper based on experience and observation. As I just mentioned, my research was based on experience and observation, but also, I asked for the advice of others. I conducted a survey that I thought went pretty well. In my opinion, the questions were interesting and somewhat personal so I was excited to read the results when they came back. All in all, I thought the best thing I did on the paper was choosing the topic and conducting research that was actually relevant to my research question.

My first paper came out alright, but I discovered a few things that I could have done that would have made my paper a lot better. I thought I did a good job researching, but a horrible job putting it all together. My paper just didn’t flow as I had hoped it would. At first, I wrote my paper using only my opinions and the survey results. After the conference, I got the idea to do some outside research and perhaps look up scholarly information. The internet provided me significant information, but instead of weaving it into the paper, I simply attached it to the end. This was a bad idea because things became too jumbled together. The paper was slightly confusing at times and hard to figure out just what my research question was. Soon after attaching more info, my topic became too broad. This is when I should have narrowed my topic down, instead of having different facts flying around the paper. I am now very well aware as to what not to do when I obtain more info for my paper.

Freedom in Education

“If human life had been left to reveal itself, there would be no need to consider the question of education.”

“Education, free from outer interference, would flow as normally through human life as the sun, moon and stars move on their way so fulfill their use and destiny.”

“If it is not creative it cannot educate.”

“Unhappy is the soul who has never felt the urge to create.”

“Unhappy is the soul that does not reproduce itself like a tree flower in the springtime.”

“When adults insist on blocking the individual’s path by trying to focus his attention on the thing or program that they have provided to further, as they think, his growth and development, he, in self-defense, must struggle, at all and any costs, to save himself.”

“I believe that, to be directed from without, to follow ways and means which are not simple and direct, obscures the individuals own impulse and results in bewilderment which, if long continued, must affect and color his whole after-life.”

“In the school the child soon finds or senses that his acts are caused by an outer influence or permitted by an outer authority.”

“His inner voice is stifled and though he may still feel the impulse to act independently, there are too many voices in that child center for him to distinguish his own.”

“When the school succeeds in deadening the sound of the inner voice, it becomes an enemy to human development and a hindrance to life.”

“They had followed a personal leader so long, that in a crisis they were helpless without a guide, a slogan, or some outer notice to push them into action.”

“There would be very little hope for humanity if all humans could be wheedled or forced into step and line.”

“He has a self-centered, self-conscious, self-determining and self-directing instinct which shuts out the useless and unnecessary things which would serve only to distract and confuse him.”

“Consequently we adults may free ourselves from the idea that the infant, child, and youth, deprived of our wise guidance or supervision would be ‘up a tree.’ In fact, he is very much up a tree now as the result of our interference.”

“It is agreed that man’s greatest attainment is to become self-conscious, to know himself; that every unhampered movement of man reveals the tendency toward that end and that he shares this in common with all life forms; then no one can take from nor add to man’s spiritual development.”

“When the human is left to free to objectify his inner life, he intuitively recognizes himself.”

“When, however, the individual is moved to action through an outer appeal, incentive or demand, he is unable to relate the achievement to an inner need.”



Reference: Freedom in Education by Elizabeth Byrne Ferm

Go ahead, let 'em influence you

You often hear people giving advice such as “don’t let your friends influence you” or don’t let that person influence you into doing something you don’t want to do.” Although influencing people or having people influence you is often portrayed as a negative thing, I think it may have its advantages as well. Considering we are all in college now, I am going to use our experiences as an example.

College is like a whole different world than high school, especially if your school is far from your home. When we enter college, we may encounter things we have never encountered and want to try things we have yet to try. In my eyes, this is an awesome learning opportunity. I think in college we should let people influence us (as long as you know your limits and boundaries and know what you should and shouldn’t do). At our age, we shouldn’t be afraid to experiment. At school, you’re officially out of your element, so why not go with it! Like I said before, know your limit but work with new situations as you come across them. College is the time to step out of your box. If you don’t do it now, you never will. Too many excuses will come up later in life and you will have wished you had tried more things. As I mentioned in my CBook, “to live is to change often.” People who are predictable are totally boring. No one wants to hang out with someone who never wants to do anything different. Can you imagine doing the same exact thing every Friday of every week?

In high school, most of us had our set group of friends, and most of the time, we grew up with these people. We tended to follow our friends whether we knew it or not. We kept up with the trends of what our friends were doing and we never thought twice when our friends talked us into doing something new. Well why can’t college be the same way? Here at school, you have probably already found a group of people you hang out with every weekend. At a school like this, everyone is so diverse, which to me, is fabulous. I have met people from all over the world who have taught me things I never thought possible.

So I believe in order to make the best out of your college years, you should always be willing to try new things and don’t be afraid of what you might learn from each experience.

A whole new world

The quote “Old habit of mind is one of the toughest things to get away from in the world. It transmits itself like physical form and feature,” connects to the quote about the chains we wear and how we miss them when removed.

Habits can be a really nasty thing and can really haunt us. It seems as though everyone is always trying to break a bad habit…but who says all habits are bad? I personally would describe a habit as a behavior or a certain routine someone has. However, to go along with this quote, old habits, especially of the mind, may be a negative thing. I think sometimes people are bad with change. When we set our minds to something, we tend to follow it. Obviously, that means when we set goals, we really set our minds to them. This is a good thing, but what I am referring to is beliefs and ideas. We never seem to want to change our minds...we have a problem with this. We always think our ideas are the right ones and everyone else is wrong. Everyone can use a little change.

If we continuously keep the same thoughts, we’ll never learn anything new. Learning new ideas and being open minded will help you to expand your horizons. Not letting go of certain ideas will prevent you from doing this. I think the major problem is that we don’t want to step out of our element. When something is new to us, we are scared to see the “other side.” Letting go a little bit and opening up can do a world of good for someone!

Freedom is a beautiful thing

It just so happens that I have come across many quotes this week that connect to everything we have been discussing in class. I recorded a quote in my CBook that went a little something like this: --“You know, there are two good things in life, freedom of thought and freedom of action.” Ah yes, I know just what you are thinking. This quote fits perfectly into our ideas and talks about freedom and everything that goes along with it. I agree with this quote, but I also have a hunch that this may not be true as well.

First of all, freedom is an amazing thing. I don’t even think I can begin to describe the kind of freedom we are all faced with everyday. Of course we have restrictions, which I will talk about after, but just the fact that we have free will that we are able to base our ideas off from, is an awesome thing. Someone in our class on Tuesday defined freedom as action without restrictions. In some ways, we know this to be true. I don’t believe that freedom of thought can ever be argues against. No one, not even the law, can keep you from thinking for yourself…in fact, only YOU can keep you from thinking for yourself. Thought is a beautiful thing because no one else can get into your thoughts. Your creative self and creative ideas are strictly yours until you release them into what we like to call action.

Action, on the other hand, isn’t always free. Yes, freedom of action would be a nice thing in life (depending on what the action is), but we know that we have restrictions as to what thoughts we can put into action. We are not free in that aspect of action. As we have said over and over again in class, freedom is not really free. In order to act on something, we have to use intelligence and responsibility. If we didn’t use these factors to determine how we act, the world would be complete chaos. The argument of chaos and structure, however, is a whole other entry!

To live...

"To live is to change often."



Reference: Unknown

The Wise man

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.”



Reference: James Oppenheim

Freedom

You know, there are two good things in life, freedom of thought and freedom of action."



Reference: W. Somerset Maugham

Old habits

"Old habit of mind is one of the toughest things to get away from in the world. It transmits itself like physical form and feature . . ."



Reference: Mark Twain

Intelligent Self-direction

“Intelligent self-direction,” to me, is all about self-reliance. With self reliance as a leading role for a student, you don’t need your teachers to tell you what to do every step of the way. I believe we eventually come to a point in our lives when we have to break free from “the norm.” The norm is when your teacher reminds you that your report is due tomorrow, or even assigns you a topic to do your report on.

Self-direction doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with being a good student. In fact, in order to have any self-reliance at all, you cannot be a good student. Good students tend to follow the teacher too much. In order to be independent, you can’t wait for a teacher to tell you what to do. Of course it is the role of the teacher to give support, but part of the support includes urging and encouraging students to find the way on their own. Every student should have their own “vision quest.”

W.L. Garner said college students are “self-centered, restless, striving…etc,” and I totally agree with him. However, I think these characteristics bring out the best in us. One reason we act like this is because we want to be individuals, independent, and self educated. Being self-centered simply means we like to do things our own way. Being “selfish” like this can be a good thing because we can really produce some great ideas. If people would let us, we can be extremely creative.

Despite our self-direction, we always have to be intelligent about out self reliance, freedom is nice, but it comes with restraints and responsibility

The Real Difference Between Boys and Girls

“Tyra Banks 161 pounds and overweight?” This was the question posed on the last cover of People magazine. Former Victoria Secret model Tyra Banks is being harassed by critics for gaining a few pounds over the past couple of years. What’s the big deal about Tyra gaining weight? The fact that she is a female and she is famous.

The difference between boys and girls is not a physical difference, but instead, has more to do with the characteristics and a certain mind set that each gender carries. In my research, this mind set is connected with the physical aspects of males and the physical aspects of females.
To decipher the real difference between boys and girls, I might have to research and observe more than just the students at St. Johns. However, I wanted to get an idea of what goes on in the heads of my peers here at school. Before I started my research, I had the idea that girls care more about things like looks and weight. This is my first research question I want to answer. My second question asks who is more competitive with their peers when it comes time to the subject of appearance. To help answer my questions, I conducted a survey that was given to five females and five males. We all hear rumors as to why girls care more about looks and why girls are more competitive than guys when it comes to the subject of appearance. In spite of what we may assume, do you think there is really another answer to these questions? This is exactly what I set out to find.

On the question of why do girls care more about things like looks and weight, I discovered in the surveys that guys may care just as much as girls, but they don’t openly admit it as well or as much. For one thing, it isn’t everyday that you read in the tabloids that Brad Pitt has lost a lot of weight or has gotten fat, but on the front cover, you may discover how his wife Angelina is anorexic thin or has gained 35 pounds. In any case, on the survey, when asked if they heavily care about their appearance, all the girls said it depends on where they are going and who will be there. One girl even mentioned she is ok with being late to class as long as she is “properly” dressed and looking good. The guys, on the other hand, were not so concerned. One said he does care about his appearance, but the others said no, it doesn’t matter to me. Why don’t they feel the need to dress to impress?

On the subject of weight, I wanted to see just how these teenagers were dealing with their weight. I wanted to see how many of them ate healthy, or thought they were eating healthy to maintain a certain look. Only one of the girls said she ate healthy, and all the others did not consider themselves healthy eaters. When I read the girls portion of this survey, I was surprised. This was until I turned to the guy’s surveys. Three out of five of the guys considered themselves healthy eaters, yet when they answered the next question, do you indulge at dinner time, all of the guys said yes. Most girls said yes, while a few said they watched portion sizes. Guys said they ate healthy, yet they said they indulged. The girls who indulge said no, I know that’s not healthy…why do guys think it’s healthy to eat that way, but girls do not?

This struck me as funny. I would also like to mention that one of the girls put on her survey that she is concerned with portion size because she is afraid of how people will judge her based on how much she eats. However, she didn’t fail to mention that other people eat more than her. In other words, as long as people eat more than her, she has nothing to worry about. This proves one of my points that girls care more about things like appearance, even when on the subject of food.

One last point I would like to make is about weight. This seems to always be a touchy subject when girls talk about it, but less when guys do. Four out of five of the girls said they would like to weigh less than they do now. One was even concerned that she was getting extremely heavy due to stress. A girl who took the survey emphasized my point and wrote that not many girls want to be gain more weight these days. It’s all about losing weight. Before I gave the survey out, I thought I would read that the guys wanted to gain more weight because this is what I have observed in the past. However, only one said he would like to gain about 20 pounds and the others didn’t worry about their weight…so they say.

So the big question still stands: why do girls care more about things like looks and weight? I was not surprised to read the answer on all of these surveys. Every survey mentioned that girls stress more because of what’s in the media. They see things in magazines and on TV that say you have to be skinny. In today’s society, there is a certain “ideal” look and if you don’t have it, then you won’t be the “it” girl. I read in one survey that “girls definitely stress more because there is a greater pressure on them from society.” Another survey mentioned that “women are expected to live up to expectations that are unattainable and therefore are more concerned with unachievable goals.” These are pretty powerful statements, and surprisingly, they were quotes from two boys.

Magazines might mention that a female celebrity has gained weight or even that a celebrity has lost too much weight and the critics are mocking her for it. Either way, this is saying that looks matter. You have to look good to the public eye. The pressure is on. When people read this, they assume it’s about them as well, and that the only way to look good is to be perfect. But what is perfect? That is a whole other subject.

Are girls and guys more competitive when it comes time to the subject of appearance? I believe they are both equally competitive in their own ways. Boys may care about different things, but they still care. Boys approach the subject one way and girls go about it another way. That could all be a part of life. I discovered however, perhaps why girls care more about being skinny and why guys care more about being big. Both girls and guys on this survey said girls worry about those things more, but based on their answers, I think they almost care as much as the girls. A few guys mentioned they don’t talk about other guys weights and appearances but they talk about girls—maybe that’s one reason why girls feel the way they do. It’s weird how that works out. Girls talk about girls and guys talk about girls.

As I mentioned before, the competition between same the sex is almost as equal, based on my survey. However, guys are quieter about it. You can tell from their one word answers on the survey compared to the long answers on the girl’s surveys. One girl even mentioned that if guys did openly admit it, they would probably be made fun of. They may not be honest about it, but they probably go through the same thing. The boys always turned the answer around to talk about the girls, never themselves. “People stress because they are insecure, and girls stress because guys talk about them. It’s true, we talk about girls appearances.” This is one of the answers I received on the survey from one of the boys.

Considering the fact that not all my results came out the way I predicted, I think it’s only fair to switch things up and look at things from a new perspective. As I mentioned before, and as the main theme of my paper states, woman are portrayed in the media as having the “it” look. Therefore, they feel the need to fit this idealism because they assume that’s how society will judge them. I also made a surprising discovery in my research that perhaps guys do think like girls, but they are better at hiding how they feel. I decided to go outside of my original research plan and use more than just primary sources. My focus in this half of the paper will deal with how men are portrayed in the media, and how the media affects the way people think.
According to medialit.com, people are stereotyped in the media, and men are no
exception. The website stated that “media stereotypes have extra impact because they create images based on these assumptions, helping to shape men's own views about how they should act and how successful they are as men.” Ah yes, this is exactly what I observed in the surveys. Perhaps some of the guys who answered my survey felt they needed to act “manly” so they didn’t really write how they felt. Not even one guy wrote how men are portrayed in the media, or that guys can also feel insecure when it comes to things like appearances.

“Bravery, adventurousness, being able to think rationally, being strong and effective, for example, are all "manly" traits that are usually encouraged and so are the ability to think independently and take the initiative” (medialit.com). This makes complete sense to me now. Why would any of the guys want to admit to having issues with their weight, or that they feel like they have to watch their portion size if they have been taught to act manly? While woman are encouraged to have a certain type of beauty and sex appeal, men are encouraged to be “strong” in more ways than one.

“Males are discouraged from pursuing many positive traits that are perceived as unmanly. These include the ability to feel a range of emotions, including fear, hurt, confusion or despair. Even talking about these feelings is considered unmanly. Men are also not encouraged to learn to work cooperatively without the need for control…” This single quote can be used to support the reasoning behind the guy’s answers on the survey. How in the world can they admit to having competition with their friends when they have been told that it’s their job to always be in control? That’s exactly right…they can’t.

Through this research, I discovered many answers to my two questions: why do girls care more about things like weight and appearance, and who is more competitive when it comes to things like weight and appearance, girls or boys? I discovered that media has a great effect on the way people perceive themselves and today’s society. Although the media focuses a lot on women, I learned that men too have the same stereotype issues as women, but the world chooses not to focus on them.


References: Five male students at St. Johns
Five Female Students at St. Johns
Peoplemagazine.com
Medialit.com

First Report-third draft

“Tyra Banks 161 pounds and overweight?” This was the question posed on the last cover of People magazine. Former Victoria Secret model Tyra Banks is being harassed by critics for gaining a few pounds over the past couple of years. What’s the big deal about Tyra gaining weight? The fact that she is a female and she is famous.

The difference between girls and guys is not a physical difference. Instead, it has more to do with the characteristics and a certain mind set that each gender carries. In my research, this mind set is connected a lot with the physical aspects of males and the physical aspects of females.

To decipher the real difference between guys and girls, I would have to research and observe more than just the students at St. Johns. However, I wanted to get an idea of what goes on in the heads of my peers here at school. Before I started my research, I had the idea that girls care more about things like looks and weight. This is my first research question I want to answer. My second question asks who is more competitive with their peers when it comes time to the subject of appearance. To help answer my questions, I conducted a survey that was given to 5 females and 5 males. We all here rumors as to why girls care more about looks and why girls are more competitive than guys when it comes to the subject of appearance. In spite of what we may assume, do you think there is really another answer to these questions? This is exactly what I set out to find.

On the question of why do girls care more about things like looks and weight, I discovered in the surveys that guys may care just as much as girls, but they don’t openly admit it as well or as much. For one thing, it isn’t everyday that you read in the tabloids that Brad Pitt has lost a lot of weight or has gotten fat, but on the front cover, you may discover how his wife Angelina is anorexic thin or has gained 35 pounds. In any case, on the survey, when asked if they heavily care about their appearance, all the girls said it depends on where they are going and who will be there. One girl even mentioned she is ok with being late to class as long as she is “properly” dressed and looking good. The guys, on the other hand, were not so concerned. One said he does care about his appearance, but the others said no, it doesn’t matter to me. Why don’t they feel the need to dress to impress?

On the subject of weight, I wanted to see just how these teenagers were dealing with their weight. I wanted to see how many of them ate healthy, or thought they were eating healthy to maintain a certain look. Only one of the girls said she ate healthy, and all the others did no consider themselves healthy eaters. When I read the girls portion of this survey, I was surprised, until I turned to the guy’s surveys. Three out of five of the guys considered themselves healthy eaters, yet when they answered the next question, do you indulge at dinner time, most girls said yes, while a few said they watched portion sizes. It was all of the guys who said yes. Guys said they ate healthy, yet they said they indulged. The girls who indulge said no, I know that’s not healthy…why do guys think it’s healthy to eat that way, but girls do not?
This struck me as funny. I would also like to mention that one of the girls put on her survey that she is concerned with portion size because she is afraid of how people will judge her based on how much she eats. However, she didn’t fail to mention that other people eat more than her. In other words, as long as people eat more than her, she has nothing to worry about. This proves one of my points that girls care more about things like appearance, even when on the subject of food.

One last point I would like to make is about weight. This seems to always be a touchy subject when girls talk about it, but less when guys do. Four out of five of the girls said they would like to weigh less than they do now. One was even concerned that she was getting extremely heavy due to stress. A girl who took the survey emphasized my point and wrote that not many girls want to be gain more weight these days. It’s all about losing weight. Before I have the survey out, I thought I would read that the guys wanted to gain more weight because this is what I have observed in the past. However, only one said he would like to gain about 20 pounds and the others didn’t worry about their weight…so they say.
So the big question still stands: why do girls care more about things like looks and weight? I was not surprised to read the answer on all of these surveys. Every survey mentioned that girls stress more because of what’s in the media. They see things in magazines and on TV that say you have to be skinny. In today’s society, there is a certain “ideal” look and if you don’t have it, then you won’t be the “it” girl. I read in one survey that “Girls definitely stress more because there is a greater pressure on them from society.” Another survey mentioned that “Women are expected to live up to expectations that are unattainable and therefore are more concerned with unachievable goals.” These are pretty powerful statements, and surprisingly, they were quotes from two boys.

Magazines might mention that a female celebrity has gained weight or even that a celebrity has lost too much weight and the critics are mocking her for it. Either way, this is saying that looks matter. You have to look good to the public eye. The pressure is on. When people read this, they assume it’s about them as well, and that the only way to look good is to be perfect. But what is perfect? That is a whole other subject.

Are girls and guys more competitive when it comes time to the subject of appearance? I believe they are both equally competitive in their own ways. Boys may care about different things, but they still care. Guys approach the subject one way and girls go about it another way. That could all be a part of life. I discovered however, perhaps why girls care more about being skinny and why guys care more about being “big.” Most people said the media and I think they may be true. Both girls and guys on this survey said girls worry about those things more, but based on their answers, I think they almost care as much as the girls. A few guys mentioned they don’t talk about other guys weights and appearances but they talk about girls—maybe that’s one reason why girls feel the way they do. It’s weird how that works out. Girls talk about girls and guys talk about girls.

As I mentioned before, the competition between same the sex is almost as equal, based on my survey. However, guys are quieter about it. You can tell from their one word answers on the survey compared to the long answers on the girl’s surveys. One girl even mentioned that if guys did openly admit it, they would probably be made fun of. They may not be honest about it, but they probably go through the same thing. They always turned it around to talk about the girls, never themselves. “People stress because they are insecure, and girls stress because guys talk about them. It’s true, we talk about girls appearances.” This is one of the answers I received on the survey.

Considering the fact that not all my results came out the way I predicted, I think it’s only fair to switch things up and look at things from a new perspective. As I mentioned before, and as the main theme of my paper states, woman are portrayed in the media as having the “it” look. Therefore, they feel the need to fit this idealism because they assume that’s how society will judge them. I also made a surprising discovery in my research that perhaps guys do think like girls, but they are better at hiding how they feel. I decided to go outside of my original research plan and use more than just primary sources. My focus in this half of the paper will deal with how men are portrayed in the media, and how the media affects the way people think.
According to medialit.com, people are stereotyped in the media, and men are no
exception. “Media stereotypes have extra impact because they create images based on these assumptions, helping to shape men's own views about how they should act and how successful they are as men.” Ah yes, this is exactly what I observed in the surveys. Perhaps some of the guys who answered my survey felt they needed to act “manly” so they didn’t really write how they felt. Not even one guy wrote how men are portrayed in the media, or that guys can also feel insecure when it comes to things like appearances. In

“Bravery, adventurousness, being able to think rationally, being strong and effective, for example, are all "manly" traits that are usually encouraged. So is the ability to think independently and take the initiative.” This makes complete sense to me now. Why would any of the guys want to admit to having issues with their weight, or that they feel like they have to watch their portion size if they have been taught to act manly? While woman are encouraged to have a certain type of beauty and sex appeal, men are encouraged to be “strong” in more ways than one.

“Males are discouraged from pursuing many positive traits that are perceived as unmanly. These include the ability to feel a range of emotions, including fear, hurt, confusion or despair. Even talking about these feelings is considered unmanly. Men are also not encouraged to learn to work cooperatively without the need for control…” This single quote can be used to support the reasoning behind the guy’s answers on the survey. How in the world can they admit to having competition with their friends when they have been told that it’s their job to always be in control? That’s exactly right…they can’t.

America's Next Top Model

Tonight was the season premier of America's Next Top Model. So of course this meant that I would plop myself down in front of the TV and for two hours I would gawk over beautiful models, wishing I could be in their shoes (high heels to be more specific!) After judging and mocking each girl that went down the runway, I began to realize that I was one of those girls. I mean, I always knew I was, but it was just something I never expected myself to admit! No no, I don't mean one of those girls, like the models, but instead, one of those girls who looks at every other girl and compares herself to them. It's funny how much I can connect this to my research paper. Throughout my report, I referred to those type of girls as just "those girls", and never ME like I should have been doing!

Then something even more amazing happened. For the first time in 8 years, there were two plus size models who made it onto the show and through the first round. Whoa, this was just too much. I'm not one to look up to actresses and models as role models (like I said before, I only look at them to gawk) but I was seriously intrigued by this. These girls truly were inspirations. It takes a lot to be a little on the heavy side and stand side by side with a stick skinny girl, and still have complete confidence in yourself. To have this type of poise is just astonishing. In a world like ours, you don't find too many heavy set girls who love their bodies.

I for one have never had confidence in myself. In fact, I have always had really low self esteem. I think this is why tonight I was so happy to see these girls on TV. Ok, so it's not like I am overweight or even close to being overweight, but weight seems to be a BIG issue in today's society (no pun intended). It's just hard not to judge yourself and tell yourself you're not good enough. Lets admit it, we all go through it at one time or another. In reality, it's just not healthy to think this way!

To be honest, it's sad to know people think they have to be super thin to be healthy or to fit in. America's Next Top Model is totally proving these people wrong and I am super excited! And everyone says reality shows are pointless..HA!

The power of one

After we graduated, most of my friends decided to stay close to home and attend a college that is only 45 minutes away from our house. I, obviously, came to New York City, which is only 5 hours away. Believe it or not, I actually went the furthest from home. Anyway, it's really hard to keep in contact with all of my friends, so I usually make phone calls to my best friends and just talk online with the others. As I'm sure most of you do, I always find myself constantly checking away message. To be honest, it is quite ridiculous the amount of times I get on AIM just to see what everyone is up to. Ok, I promise I am about to get to the point of this blog entry. I have one friend who, for the past two and a half weeks, has hadthe same away message up. It makes me feel bad because it's so depressing. But hey, she is a teenager and she is a girl, so of course her issue is with a guy, right? For all of you who are about to close this entry, my point gets better! For weeks now, she has been upset about this ONE guy..yes, this ONE guy...hmm, dwell on that for a minute...


.........


I'm not sure how true this is, but there is probably like, what, 7 billion people on this earth? Yet, how silly. She has spent two weeks (which can also be called 14 days, 336 hours, etc) of her life worrying about this ONE person and from this, she is becoming despressed. Now, the point of this entry isn't to talk about teenage relationship issues, but something a little deeper than this: the power of one person. Now I just noted the amount of people on this earth, and it may be true that I don't know that many people, but that sure is a lot of people who dwell around us. Why is it that we tend to focus and choose to live our lives thinking about that one person? I don't want to get into a whole thing about love and why we choose to be with one person, because that is not what my intentions were at all. I just starting thinking about how much of an impact one person can have on our lives, whether good or bad. I often find myself getting upset over one person, but now that I think about it, why bother? If ONE out 7 billion people upset you, you are bound to find at least ONE other person who does not. In fact, I can almost guarantee you will find more than one person who will make you the happiest person on earth!

Living is like tearing through a museum...

"Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book, and remembering - because you can't take it in all at once."


Reference: Audrey Hepburn

Dislike, loath, abhor, detest, etc...

Ever wonder why we have so many words in our English language? Well, ok, me either, but this thought occured to me just 2 minutes ago when I found myself getting very annoyed (annoyed, aggravated, infuriated, irritated, etc) with my roomate. Why/how she upset me for the 100th time today, however, is beside the point. She really got me thinking. What do I really think about her? I mean, honestly. I keep telling myself that I simply dislike her. Yes, that's it! I have very strong negative feelings toward her, and I don't see them becoming positive anytime soon.

Then it occured to me. We've always been told that hate is a verrry strong word and we shouldn't use it unless we really mean it. Up until 5 minutes ago, I really believed this. However, when we dislike something, we are saying we don't like it...correct? Well when I hate something, I don't like it! I completely understand that maybe hate comes off as a strong word, but that's only because this is what we have learned in the last. Well, I have some news for you! If you don't like something, you just don't like it. That's the way it is. Sure we think we have different levels of dislikes for things, but the fact of the matter is, you either like something or you don't...end of story!

After thinking of this for a few minutes, I ponder the question of why we use all these different words to describe one feeling. My first thought was that we all just want to be English scholars so we use lots of vocabulary, but that's totally irrelavant, so I disregarded that one. My next thought made a little more sense. I don't know about the rest of you, but I use words like dislike to replace words like hate only because they make ME feel better about saying them. "Of course I don't hate anybody. Hate is a very strong word. I just dislike them." This is one of my favorite quotes...by me that is. I never liked saying I hated someone because that would be just plain mean. Dislike, on the other hand, sounds a bit less pessimistic (nagative, cynical glum, etc), don't you agree?

First Report-second draft

The difference between girls and guys is not a physical difference. Instead, it has more to do with the characteristics and a certain mind set that each gender carries. In my research, this mind set is connected a lot with the physical aspects of males and the physical aspects of females.

To decipher the real difference between guys and girls, I would have to research and observe more than just the students at St. Johns. However, I wanted to get an idea of what goes on in the heads of my peers here at school. Before I started my research, I had the idea that girls care more about things like looks and weight. This is my first research question I want to answer. My second question asks who is more competitive with their peers when it comes time to the subject of appearance. To help answer my questions, I conducted a survey that was given to 5 females and 5 males. We all here rumors as to why girls care more about looks and why girls are more competitive than guys when it comes to the subject of appearance. In spite of what we may assume, do you think there is really another answer to these questions? This is exactly what I set out to find.

On the question of why do girls care more about things like looks and weight, I discovered in the surveys that guys may care just as much as girls, but they don’t openly admit it as well or as much. For one thing, it isn’t everyday that you read in the tabloids that Brad Pitt has lost a lot of weight or has gotten fat, but on the front cover, you may discover how his wife Angelina is anorexic thin or has gained 35 pounds. In any case, on the survey, when asked if they heavily care about their appearance, all the girls said it depends on where they are going and who will be there. One girl even mentioned she is ok with being late to class as long as she is “properly” dressed and looking good. The guys, on the other hand, were not so concerned. One said he does care about his appearance, but the others said no, it doesn’t matter to me. Why don’t they feel the need to dress to impress?

On the subject of weight, I wanted to see just how these teenagers were dealing with their weight. I wanted to see how many of them ate healthy, or thought they were eating healthy to maintain a certain look. Only one of the girls said she ate healthy, and all the others did no consider themselves healthy eaters. When I read the girls portion of this survey, I was surprised, until I turned to the guy’s surveys. Three out of five of the guys considered themselves healthy eaters, yet when they answered the next question, do you indulge at dinner time, most girls said yes, while a few said they watched portion sizes. It was all of the guys who said yes. Guys said they ate healthy, yet they said they indulged. The girls who indulge said no, I know that’s not healthy…why do guys think it’s healthy to eat that way, but girls do not?

This struck me as funny. I would also like to mention that one of the girls put on her survey that she is concerned with portion size because she is afraid of how people will judge her based on how much she eats. However, she didn’t fail to mention that other people eat more than her. In other words, as long as people eat more than her, she has nothing to worry about. This proves one of my points that girls care more about things like appearance, even when on the subject of food.

One last point I would like to make is about weight. This seems to always be a touchy subject when girls talk about it, but less when guys do. Four out of five of the girls said they would like to weigh less than they do now. One was even concerned that she was getting extremely heavy due to stress. A girl who took the survey emphasized my point and wrote that not many girls want to be gain more weight these days. It’s all about losing weight. Before I have the survey out, I thought I would read that the guys wanted to gain more weight because this is what I have observed in the past. However, only one said he would like to gain about 20 pounds and the others didn’t worry about their weight…so they say.

So the big question still stands: why do girls care more about things like looks and weight? I was not surprised to read the answer on all of these surveys. Every survey mentioned that girls stress more because of what’s in the media. They see things in magazines and on TV that say you have to be skinny. In today’s society, there is a certain “ideal” look and if you don’t have it, then you won’t be the “it” girl. I read in one survey that “Girls definitely stress more because there is a greater pressure on them from society.” Another survey mentioned that “Women are expected to live up to expectations that are unattainable and therefore are more concerned with unachievable goals.” These are pretty powerful statements, and surprisingly, they were quotes from two boys.

Magazines might mention that a female celebrity has gained weight or even that a celebrity has lost too much weight and the critics are mocking her for it. Either way, this is saying that looks matter. You have to look good to the public eye. The pressure is on. When people read this, they assume it’s about them as well, and that the only way to look good is to be perfect. But what is perfect? That is a whole other subject.

Are girls and guys more competitive when it comes time to the subject of appearance? I believe they are both equally competitive in their own ways. Boys may care about different things, but they still care. Guys approach the subject one way and girls go about it another way. That could all be a part of life. I discovered however, perhaps why girls care more about being skinny and why guys care more about being “big.” Most people said the media and I think they may be true. Both girls and guys on this survey said girls worry about those things more, but based on their answers, I think they almost care as much as the girls. A few guys mentioned they don’t talk about other guys weights and appearances but they talk about girls—maybe that’s one reason why girls feel the way they do. It’s weird how that works out. Girls talk about girls and guys talk about girls.

As I mentioned before, the competition between same the sex is almost as equal, based on my survey. However, guys are quieter about it. You can tell from their one word answers on the survey compared to the long answers on the girl’s surveys. One girl even mentioned that if guys did openly admit it, they would probably be made fun of. They may not be honest about it, but they probably go through the same thing. They always turned it around to talk about the girls, never themselves. “People stress because they are insecure, and girls stress because guys talk about them. It’s true, we talk about girls appearances.” This is one of the answers I received on the survey.

Considering the fact that not all my results came out the way I predicted, I think it’s only fair to switch things up and look at things from a new perspective. As I mentioned before, and as the main theme of my paper states, woman are portrayed in the media as having the “it” look. Therefore, they feel the need to fit this idealism because they assume that’s how society will judge them. I also made a surprising discovery in my research that perhaps guys do think like girls, but they are better at hiding how they feel. I decided to go outside of my original research plan and use more than just primary sources. My focus in this half of the paper will deal with how men are portrayed in the media, and how the media affects the way people think.

According to medialit.com, people are stereotyped in the media, and men are no
exception. “Media stereotypes have extra impact because they create images based on these assumptions, helping to shape men's own views about how they should act and how successful they are as men.” Ah yes, this is exactly what I observed in the surveys. Perhaps some of the guys who answered my survey felt they needed to act “manly” so they didn’t really write how they felt. Not even one guy wrote how men are portrayed in the media, or that guys can also feel insecure when it comes to things like appearances. In

“Bravery, adventurousness, being able to think rationally, being strong and effective, for example, are all "manly" traits that are usually encouraged. So is the ability to think independently and take the initiative.” This makes complete sense to me now. Why would any of the guys want to admit to having issues with their weight, or that they feel like they have to watch their portion size if they have been taught to act manly? While woman are encouraged to have a certain type of beauty and sex appeal, men are encouraged to be “strong” in more ways than one.

“Males are discouraged from pursuing many positive traits that are perceived as unmanly. These include the ability to feel a range of emotions, including fear, hurt, confusion or despair. Even talking about these feelings is considered unmanly. Men are also not encouraged to learn to work cooperatively without the need for control…” This single quote can be used to support the reasoning behind the guy’s answers on the survey. How in the world can they admit to having competition with their friends when they have been told that it’s their job to always be in control? That’s exactly right…they can’t.